Gliberty: Minutes of the Liberal Party leadership meeting in full

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Minutes of the Liberal Party leadership meeting in full

Yes, that wimp Merely Being is absent still. Lucky I am here to reveal, in full, the minutes of the Liberal Party's recent leadership meeting.

My friend Roger McGough, a poet of some promise, was there to record it.

The Leader

I wanna be the leader
I wanna be the leader
Can I be the leader?
Can I? I can?
Promise? Promise?
Yippee I'm the leader
I'm the leader

OK what shall we do?

Gig of the week

Pulp at the Hordern. Welcome to the Neon Music Hall, the Electric Cabaret. Clever, charismatic and fresher than ever. Why London is cool. Jarvis for mayor! 5/5
The Dandy Warhols at the Enmore – there comes a time in every band’s life when it’s time to shake up the act or call it quits. The band was lined along the front of the stage like cartoon strip (what is this - Josey and the Pussycats?) and when Zia played keyboards with one hand on her hip, what once looked cool looked liked boredom. The songs are great but they’ve been playing them for too long. Courtney tried but the others did not follow. A shame. 2.5/5
Dave Graneyand the Lurid Yellow Mist at Notes Live, Enmore. A night of cool lounge, slick guitar and brilliant banter. The many faces of Dave were on display - showman, writer, wit and raconteur. If only the room had been smoky. 4/5
Mos Def at the Enmore.Mos Def wilted under the heat and the weight of expectation leaving us not quite Estatic. Still, the man’s effortless style carried us to 3.5/5. Damn the Enmore is hot in January!
Public Enemy at the Metro – hot and heavy hip hop from the old school 3/5.
Blondie at the Enmore.The divine Deborah Harry in scintillating form. There's no cooler performer. Atomic! 5/5
The Lemonheads at the Metro. An inspiring start gives way to a modest middle and a tiring end. 3ish/5
Manic Street Preachers at the Metro. Confirmation that the Stereophonics are far from Wales’ best band. Great show with no encores – a welcome innovation. Pity about the hat. 3.5/5
LA Guns at The Forum. Big haired hilarity as half dead rockers impress bikers 'n bitches. But not me. 2/5
Vampire Weekend at the Horden. Juveniles admire their reflections before sniffing each other's farts. Drivel. But better than Cloud Control in support. Pretentious bollocks. 1/5
AC/DC at Homebush. Angus! Angus! 5/5
Shaggy et al at the Enmore. Great fun. Shaggy's reggae rap rampant but too many cops and dogs. Final score: Steveient 1 - Cops 0. 3/5
The Wailers at the Metro. Cops hassle rastas but ganja in the sock triumphs. Bob's band dial one in and no amount of da 'erb can change it. 2/5
Hilltop Hoods at the Horden. Surprisingly friendly and happy crowd have a drunken blast with our finest hip hoppers. 3.5/5
Aimee Mann at The Enmore. Sublime scalp tingling moments - Voices Carry (solo) and Red Vines two of many high spots. Please bring the full band next time. 4/5
The Specials at The Enmore. Middle aged madness in the moshpit. Bloody marvellous! Now, come on everybody - It’s the worst excuse in the world and it doesn’t make it alright! 4.5/5
Rachid Taha at the Riverside. Algerian showman growls, grinds and glides until too wasted to continue. Brilliant, plusating and powerful. 5/5 'cos 6/5 would be silly.
Louris and Olson at the Annadale.Former Jayhwaks harmonise a "sea of sensitive men" a little more than halfway to heaven. 3.5/5
Kaiser Chiefs and Razorlight at the Enmore. KC’s sing along anthems convince not as hard as they think punters they’re at a rock n roll show. Razorlight - Anglo-Scandinavian 80s revival band sincerely try to be unconventional, without success. Top marks for energy all round but better fun if you know ALL the words.2.5/5.
Primal Scream at The Forum – The venue of choice for bands well past their apogee. Tired rockers haphazardly perform too loud in front of scuzzy crowd. 2/5
Joe Henry at The Spiegletent - mercurial master's perfectly polished musical jewels delight devotees. 5/5
My Morning Jacket at the Metro - capes, hats and guitars. Kooky youngsters play The Beach Boys meet Gram Parsons to rapt, dwarfish youth. 3/5