Well done us!

The world has watched in awed wonderment as Australia changed government without a single drop of blood being shed!

Congratulations to us all!

Every foreigner is smarting with envy at our grace, civility and maturity. The Chinese people I was entertaining on election night were dumbstruck that Mr. Howard should pass the baton to Mr. Rudd without first beating him around the bonce with it a few times and applying a swift knee to the goolies on the way down.

Sure, there was some initial confusion as I explained the concept of an election to my communist visitors. Oh no, no, Mr. Hu, the word I am using is election! How we laughed! But, they understood soon enough and the look on their faces could only be described as deep admiration.

While I was at it, I took the opportunity to explain to my guests that Australians aren’t just good at peaceful exchanges of power - we have many things to be proud of. For example, I explained, we buy our groceries. In most countries, those that actually have food, citizens steal them – often at the point of a gun. I told the delegation that Australians, as peaceable people, queue patiently to buy comestibles which we pay for with “money”, a kind of exchangeable token of little inherent value.

And you know what else?, I asked Mr. Hu and his colleagues as they stood before me, mouths agape, shaking their heads in disbelief, We’re really very good at sport too, as you will see in Beijing.

I could see they were at once impressed and a little worried.

What a country we have! What a people we are!