Hurrah! The President of the United States likes me!

I know I am not alone in having a slightly sore chest this morning. It’s been stretched with pride at President Obama’s praise for our Prime Minster!

Gosh, if he likes Mr Rudd, do you think he might like me too? Oh, I hope so. He did say that the Australian people were hospitable and I’m an Australian person so, really, he was saying that I am hospitable. Don’t you think?

And as the Prime Minster is our elected leader, perhaps when he praises Mr Rudd he is really saying that we are, and therefore I am, smart and humble and helpful around the house too!!

Oh joy! Oh life! Oh love! ♥♥

Picking on the fat kid

Churchill spent most of the Second World War rat arsed. Kennedy was up on pain killers and down on actresses during the Cuban Missile Crisis and, if Coppola is to be believed, every American serviceman spent the Vietnam War strung out.

Piggy Nixon scoffed a pie at a pub during the Victorian bush fires.

What we now know is that, wearing her dress uniform and a furrowed brow, she should have been in a glass control room to be seen pinning tiny flags on a wall map with her left hand and pushing toy fire trucks across a table with the miniature rake in her right.

Later, we should have seen Piggy read them their rights and place the fires under arrest.

Anything else was a greedy dereliction of duty.